Truths to Set Us Free

Even though bullies act as though only the beautiful, popular, or worthy people should be treated well, the truth is that no matter who you are, you deserve to be treated with dignity and worth.

As you may have guessed from my blog, I believe in Jesus, and although I try hard to keep the information about bullying generic so that any person, religious or not, can use it, this is one time where I must mention my faith. I believe that every person has inherent worth because every person has been made in the image of God. I believe that everyone deserves to be treated with dignity, no matter how they look, how they speak, how popular they are, or how much money they have. I believe that God looks down on those of us who are bullied and cries because He didn't make us to be treated this way. You are a person of dignity and worth; that's the truth, now all you need to do is believe it.   

I find it fascinating that people once believed if you knew a person or being's real name, you could have power over them. Just think of the fairytale "Rumpelstiltskin." When you believe that the bully's nickname for you is your real name, then you give them power over you. But you also have the right to take back your name. A girl in my class, who heard the bully call me Bookworm said, "You shouldn't let him talk to you like that. Tell him it isn't your name!" I wish I had had the courage to do it.

Even if you're too afraid to tell the bully to their face, at least tell it to yourself. Remind yourself over and over that the nickname is not you, not the real you. You are someone much bigger and more amazing. You are loved. Maybe you don't feel loved. That's OK. You're loved anyway. Jesus loves you (if I can bring Jesus in again), and I believe there is at least one person in your life who cares about you--a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, coach, friend, or teacher. Please, please don't let the bully rename you. Take back who you are because who you are is "loved." 

​

Abuse is wrong. Bullying is wrong. Cyberbullying is wrong. Hitting, kicking, or punching anyone is wrong. That is the truth. Bullies may not believe the truth, but they cannot change it. If you're being bullied, please do not think that you are so ugly, stupid, uncool, or ______________ (you fill in the blank) that you deserve to be bullied.  

​

I saw an episode of Frasier where Niles confronts his Jr. High bully. The bully feels sorry for what he did, but he tells Niles "I can't defend everything I did back in Jr. High, I mean, who can? But let's face it, when you show up at school wearing a tweed blazer with elbow patches and carrying a valise, I mean...I think the guilt here is 50/50." Although it may seem funny on a sitcom, this lie is exactly why bullies believe they can bully. The prevailing idea that how you look or act determines how you should be treated by your peers is a lie.

​

Please remember this truth: You are not being bullied because of a flaw in you; you're being bullied because the bully enjoys bullying and that is completely unacceptable. 

Although it isn't easy, bullying CAN be stopped. But sometimes you or your parents have to get creative. Sometimes a meeting with the teacher is enough to alert them to the problem and allow them to step in and solve things. Sometimes, it takes the principal. And sometimes, you need outside help.

I've been so encouraged to see the articles about groups that have come to the aid of bullied children. Firefighters at this local fire company had lunch with a bullied child to show him he wasn't alone. This biker group escorted a bullied student to school. Just Google "bikers stop bullying" and you'll see a long list of entries. There's even a Facebook page Bikers Against Bullying USA. I encourage you to Google "organizations against bullying" to see if there are any organizations or ideas that can help you. Please, please reach out instead of just enduring the abuse.