The next day, God gave me Isaiah 52:12 “…for the LORD will go before you, the God of Israel will be your rear guard.” God knew that I would need these words because in spite of Dad waking up, we still had a long, difficult week ahead of us. How encouraging it was to know that God Himself was leading us through! Mom only got to talk to Dad for about 7 minutes that day. I really wanted to talk to him, too, because I desperately wanted to know what he remembered. It seemed like he knew who he was and he told Mom “I love you,” so he seemed to know who she was. But did he remember me or my brother or his grandchildren? I knew I shouldn’t worry because God had already brought us through so much. I wanted to just pray and trust and leave the worry behind. I thought of Jesus’ words “You are in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God.” I thought of the old hymn we sang on Sunday (on Facebook church), “All the way my Savior leads me, what have I to ask beside…” It was a song written by Fanny Crosby, a woman who spent her life blind. Surely, God had led us this far, I needed to just keep trusting.
Looking back, I wonder, as I’m sure Jesus did, at my lack of faith. Here, God had worked a miracle and was bringing Dad back, and yet the only thing I could do was want more confirmation.
Saturday, May 23, I got a call from the physician’s assistant again. She was very pleased with Dad’s progress. More than that, she told me they had capped Dad’s trach on Thursday! He was completely off the ventilator!!! No one had ever told us!
I immediately knew that’s why Dad had been able to talk to Mom—his trach was capped! It was still a miracle, just not the one we’d thought it was! What an amazing miracle—eight days after they started him on the weaning process Dad was completely off the ventilator!
The physician's assistant told me that because of his age and since Mom couldn't be there in person, it might take him a little while to fully understand what was going on and where he was. But she said that he had made a "180 degree improvement" from where he was the week before! He was no longer agitated and anxious, which was the main thing that concerned her and encouraged her to take Dad off some of the meds.
When we opted for Dad to get the tracheostomy, I hated the thought of him waking up from sedation and realizing he couldn't talk. Those who knew Dad knew that talking was such a part of who he was as a teacher and the thought of him trying to speak and not being able to... well, it was something I dreaded. But God already knew my worry and He graciously got Dad weaned off the ventilator and the trach capped before He woke Dad up! What a praise! The words of the Doxology have been going through my head, "Praise God from whom all blessings flow."
In the midst of the joy, I was still worried about Dad coming back to us, and God gave me Jeremiah 31 “For the LORD will ransom Jacob…They will come and shout for joy on the heights of Zion; they will rejoice in the bounty of the LORD.” The verses that God had given me those past few days were all about rejoicing and renewal, and I hoped that one day, those verses would come true and we’d be able to rejoice in Dad returning home!
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